I wish someone told me.

A book I love, that broke my heart a thousand different ways every time I read it, is now a movie. And I've spent the whole day trapped in the vicious cycle of watching clips and press interviews and trailers for this story that so easily defined my life that it got me thinking of all the things I've learned in adulthood and all the things I wish I could make other people understand without having to do the pain (I told you, this was an intense book).

First, I wish someone had told me at eighteen that I didn't know anything and that was ok. Everyone wants to know what you want to be and is pushing you to be towards college and career and being an adult and getting married and having babies (in that order). I wish I could tell every eighteen year old, that it's ok to not have the answers. It's ok to get a college degree in something you will never use because you figured out you hate it. It's ok to hate college (I certainly did my first semester). It's ok to underachieve until you figure out your true dream. It's ok to work crappy jobs and live in crappy apartments and have crappy kinda relationships, as long as you know that this doesn't make you crappy. You are not going to turn out like you thought you would at eighteen and god help you if you do. You are ever growing, ever changing, and you are just fine

Second, I want to rip Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey out of the hands of girls everywhere. I read Twilight, it's great (Couldn't handle fifty shades of grey all that sex makes me nervous and I've actually done some of it). But just because it's popular doesn't mean it's good.Read books, a lot of them. Learn what you like. It's ok if it changes a thousand times in your life but don't read books because you think you should, read books that change your life. Read things that make you think and grow and cry and laugh and break your heart and make you feel less alone and heal your scars and hurt you. I have been made fun of for having books at bars and parties and car rides and work and in my purse and sometimes it is the only thing that has saved me. Books are the best and most realest way for someone to rip the lessons they've learned, tell their story and share a part of themselves with the world. I wish I could write something that means as much to someone as my favorite books mean to me.

The last little bit is still chaotic but so am I so here it goes.

No one has a right to tell you what to feel.
Because there isn't a right way to do this life thing, I've spent most of my adult life trying to be what I thought I was supposed to and I failed hard. Because it's not who I am. I have made some terrible choices and done some things that a lot of people wouldn't approve of but it made me who I am. My choices, goals, and opinions are nobody's business but mine and if people don't like it that's ok.


This is a lot to put out there but no one reads this anyway so who gives a flying fuck.

Pumpkins with my baby....

Last night, I decided we needed to carve pumpkins. So, he did all the cutting and I did the goob scooping. We started with this beautiful little pumpkin (from Wal-Mart, not a cute pumpkin patch, like I would have liked)

These were some in-progress photos, note the beautiful face I drew on the pumpkin 

This is not the face I drew. But so so cute!!!

(a little earlier, but oh well)

xoxoxoxo Meagan

Getting Real...

The reason I named this blog Meagan Under Construction, instead of the thousand names that would have been cooler, is because I wanted a way to document my projects. Yes, that means craft projects. Or books I'm reading (or writing). But also, my own self-improvement.

I was the weirdest teenager in the world. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't have sex, I didn't eat meat. I worked, made good grades, and was SUPER involved in church. 

When I went to college, I fell into a deep depression. I was far from home and dating a jerk. The church turned their back on me for my mistakes.

Later, when I moved to Louisiana, we were forced to attend church. It was alright but my heart wasn't in it.

I still haven't made my way back to church but I've been trying to find my way back to Jesus. Lots of self-hope books and christian blogs. 

I have high hopes that someday I'll be back to the strong faith I had when I was younger.

Life Lately...

This isn't going to be a long post because it's 1:30 in the morning and I worked two jobs all day long, but I wanted to have an update on what's up in my life.

Latest Craft Project:

I'm crocheting this scarf. It wraps around my neck but it still needs a lot of love. 

What I'm Reading: Yes, it's by Lauren Conrad star of The Hills. Yes, it's targeting for fifteen year old girls. Yes, it was cool a year and a half ago. Yes, it's awesome. 

Newest Favorite Thing:
I love these boots. They're sassy. and comfy. and they make me feel like a rebel. 

A friend of mine texted me this picture and made me feel special and loved and now I'm sharing it with my invisible audience over the internet. 

If I were....

If I were a gemstone, I'd be an emerald (because it's green and sparkly).

If I were a scent, I'd be freshly cut grass.

If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be a pair of really comfy boots.

If I were the weather, I'd be a breezy, sunny day.

If I were a facial expression, I'd be a bottom lip out pout.

If I were a car, I'd be a '66 mustang (always a classic).

If I were a time of day, I'd be early in the morning.

If I were a month, I'd be April.

If I were a place, I'd be a neighborhood bar.

If I were a liquid, I'd be coffee.

If I were a taste, I'd be sweet and chewy (like gummi worms). 

If I were a sea animal, I'd be an manatee (I promise I don't have weight issues).

If I were a food, I'd be an chocolate covered bacon.

If I were a color, I'd be pale yellow or carolina blue.

If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a ukulele.

If I were a flower, I'd be a daffodil.

If I were a planet, I'd be Pluto (I'm not accepting it's lack of planet-ness).

If I were an object, I'd be a book. 

If I were a fruit, I'd be a peach (I am a peach).

If I were a sound, I'd be rain on a tin roof. 

If I were a day of the week, I'd be a Sunday morning.

I wish I knew where I found this picture. I'd source it I promise :-)

Most fun workplace!

Yesterday was National Bosses Day. Rotolo's celebrated by secretly decorating the office, making a giant sparking card, and CAKE!!! Nice way to break up a boring week.